A Time For Change
by RidersMomma
Summary: We follow Lily in first person as she starts her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lily is ecstatic to be Head Girl but is not so fond of the Head Boy. Lily Evans hates James Potter but there is a fine line between love & hate.
1. Reflection

_**A Time for Change**_

Chapter 1 - Reflection

I never thought I would owe my entire life nor my son's life to Severus Snape, especially not after what happened our fifth year. I met Severus just months before my first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; in fact he helped me make my final decision to go. Severus taught me all about his world, the magical world that I would soon enter. The world that I would eventually love and the world that would one day truly change not only my life but change the lives for everyone I loved and held dear. The one thing I do still regret about entering the wizarding world, my world, was losing my close relationship with Petunia. For ten years we had been inseparable, for ten years she had been my best friend and my rock. She never truly got over Albus Dumbledore telling her that unfortunately she could not attend Hogwarts with me.

If Severus had not convinced me how wonderful this new world was, when I got my letter I most likely would have turned down my opportunity to attend Hogwarts. If it had not been for Severus, I would have never met the wonderful friends Amelia, Alice, Remus, Sirius, and Peter. If it was not for Severus, I would have never met the one and only James Potter. I would have never hated him nor fell in love with him, and married him. It is so funny how close the lines are when it comes to hate and love. If it was not for Severus, I would have never met the most important person in my life, my son Harry.

I remember like it was yesterday, the many hours that Severus and I talked about Hogwarts before that first September 1st. I can remember playing around with that twig like it was a wand and just wishing that it wasn't all a dream, that this was the real thing that I was really a witch.

For five years Severus and I stayed very close friends, true we never spent as much time together during school as we did on vacation. It was very difficult to spend much time with Severus during our times at school as he was a Slytherin and me a Gryffindor, and well the rivalry between the two houses are nothing but legendary. For years all my Amelia and Alice could never understand how I could be friends with Severus Snape, but they never knew me before I knew I was a witch.

I can still remember the day that Severus broke my heart. It was the last day of O.W.L.s in our fifth year, the day that James had hung Severus upside down. The day that I defended Severus, like I always did, but this time he turned on me just like Petunia. It is wasn't like anyone had never called me a mudblood and it's not like Severus had never called another muggleborn a mudblood. In fact I use to lecture him on how ugly that name was and how I wish he would not use it anymore. To hear him call me that name, well it was nothing but unforgivable.

That was the day that I ended my friendship with Severus Snape.


	2. September 1st

Chapter 2 - September 1st

"I wish I could have convinced Petunia to come with us," my mum, Elizabeth Evans, sighed across the barrier between platform nine and ten.

"It's okay Mum," I shrugged.

"No it is not, I can not believe she is still jealous of you after all of these years."

"Mum."

"No it is true," my mother went on. "She acts now as if you are some kind of…"

"Freak?" I offered.

My mother sighed again, "I hate when she calls you that."

"I have gotten use to it now, but I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"Let's not talk about her Mum."

"Fine," she smiled at me.

When I looked into her eyes, the very same eyes that I have, I smiled. "I will miss you."

"Oh," my mother gave me a bone crushing hug. "I will miss you too, please send Bella often."

My mom was talking about my owl, "I will write at least twice a week."

"Good," she kissed me on my forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you," I hugged her tightly. The one thing I hated about going back to Hogwarts every year, was saying good bye to my mom. This year happened to be even harder then ever.

Petunia had graduated from her boarding school last year and moved out of our Mum's house and was now living with her boyfriend of three years but now turned fiancé, Vernon Dursley. Over the last seven years I thought Petunia hated me, she was nothing compared to Vernon…or I had just gotten use to Petunia.

I then turned towards the barrier that turned into Platform 9 ¾ and with a look back at my Mum, I was headed back to my home away from home for the last seven years.

After I walked onto the Hogwarts Express, I headed to the Head Girl and Boy compartment. I was so excited, I had hoped from my first day at Hogwarts that I would be Head Girl in my seventh year and now here I was…

As I entered the compartment I was surprised to not see the Head Boy, I had been running late and the Hogwarts Express would be leaving in less then five minutes. I put Bella's cage down in the compartment as well as my trunk. Of the two benches in the compartment, I fell down upon the one to the right and fell asleep almost instantly.

"_Petunia, please come with us."_

"_I'm sorry Mom, I can't."_

"_Of course you can."_

"_No Mom, I do not agree with her __**lifestyle**__."_

"_Lifestyle?"_

_Petunia sighed, "Vernon and I do not agree with her being…different."_

"_Do you know how much it would mean to me if you came with me to say goodbye to her. Your father always came with me."_

"_Yes he did, but you and daddy agreed with her…"_

"_Being a witch?" Elizabeth Evans asked with her voice getting a little in defensive._

"_Yes that…"_

"_Your father and I accepted it."_

_Petunia cackled, the obviously did not know I was at the top of the stairs listening. "You did not only accept it, you boasted about it. Besides I have better things to do."_

"_Petunia dear, please do not tell me you are still jealous of her after all these years."_

"_**I AM NOT JEALOUS OF HER**__!"_

"_Mum," I called from the top of the stairs. "I will be right down!"_

"_Okay love," she hollered where she thought I could hear her from my bedroom._

_Elizabeth Evans lowered her voice to almost a hiss at her eldest daughter, "What on earth do you have that is more important then seeing your sister off to her last year at Hogwarts as Head Girl?"_

"_Vernon and I are headed to London to meet with the wedding planner."_

"_Oh I see, well maybe after Christmas."_

"_Sure," Petunia said dripping with sarcasm that either Elizabeth Evans did not notice or ignored._

_I came down the stairs grinning at my mother from ear to ear, "I am ready to go!"_

"_Okay let's go, Petunia say bye."_

"_Bye."_

"_Goodbye," I said without looking at my sister. I knew Petunia did not mean it and I was not going to wish anymore that she really did._

_Mum and I drove for a while before she said anything, "I am so sorry Lily."_

_I had been looking out of the window and was not paying attention but that statement grabbed my attention, "For what?"_

"_Petunia, I know you overheard us bickering."_

_I blushed, she always knew me so well. "I am sorry."_

_My mum shrugged, "Don't be."_

"_So what are you sorry about?"_

"_Petunia."_

"_Oh," I chuckled. "Do not apologize for her, I am use to it."_

"_The thing is, you shouldn't be."_

"_Oh well, onwards and upwards."_

"_You know she is just jealous."_

"_Mom…"_

"_No seriously."_

_I just nodded and she drove the rest of the way to King's Cross in silence._

_***_

"Lily? Lily?" The sound of my name awoke me, and once I opened my eyes I found someone I really did not have the patience right now to see.

"What the hell are _you_ doing in _here_?!" I yelled

"Hang on Lily before you get mad, let me explain…"

"No I am not listening to any of your lies!"

"No Lily, wait…"

"No," I jumped to my feet. "Get out before I throw you out!"

He smirked at me, "That would be interesting."

"I can not believe Remus would give you the password! It specifically stated that we could not tell _anyone_!"

"Lily, Remus did not tell me anything."

"You can not honestly tell me that you just guessed what the password was?!"

"No I didn't guess, if you would listen for just once second…"

"No Potter!"

"Lily wait," he grabbed my arms but not tightly. "I have a simple explanation."

I huffed and rolled my eyes at him, "Spit it out then."

"I know the password because it came in my letter when I found out that I was to be Head Boy."

"What," I chocked as my eyes popped out of my head. "There is no way in Dumbledore's right mind would he make _you_ Head Boy!"

To my surprise he laughed, "That is what I said. In fact my mum, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all agreed with me."

I frowned, "You laugh because you do not want the responsibility?"

"No," James then frowned at me. "I laughed because I could not believe it was me and not Remus."

I threw my hands to my mouth, "Oh Merlin! Poor Remus, how did he take it?"

James looked at me oddly, I would later find out that he could not believe we were actually having a civil conversation. "He was okay with it."

"He was?"

"Lily," he said changing the subject. "We really need to go."

I frowned at him with confusion, "Go where?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "You are being very nice to me."

"Oh," my face dropped. "Well…you are not being you're normal annoying self."

Surprisingly he laughed again, "We have got to get to the Prefect meeting."

***

"Wow," Alice McKinney gasped. "I can not believe James Potter is Head Boy! I for sure thought it was between Severus Snape and Remus Lupin."

"I did too," I sighed.

"I think it is hilarious," Amelia Bones laughed.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my dinner in the Great Hall for the Start of Term dinner.

"You do realize you have to work very closely with him all year, right?" Alice asked.

"Of course I know that," I snapped at one of my very best friends.

"You do remember that Head Boy and Girl share a common room," Amelia spoke up.

"Duh," I rolled my eyes again. "Gryffindor Common Room."

"No," Amelia cackled and I really thought she might have an accident. "Head Boy and Girl share a common room and a bathroom but separate bedrooms."

"Oh Merlin," I gasped as I felt all the air being sucked out of my body. "I forgot!"

Amelia roared with laughter, but Alice looked sympathetic. I sat at the Gryffindor table and brooded until Professor Dumbledore released us from dinner.

***

I was lounging on one of the two fluffy couches in the common room I would be sharing with James Potter for the next nine months, when James came walking in through the portrait hole.

He walked over and sat in the arm chair next to me and watched me as I read my new Potions book for our seventh year.

"Studying already?" He asked with a killer grin as he sat in a red wingback chair beside the couch I was laying on.

"Yup," I stated without looking away from my book.

"Look Lily, I promise I will not mess this Head Boy thing up."

That was it, he had already blown my nerves. I dropped my book on the floor and glared at him, "Head Boy thing? Are you kidding me?! My dream since the first day I came to Hogwarts was to be Head Girl my seventh year. I busted my butt for six years straight and am I honored that Dumbledore chose me to be Head Girl!"

"Lily…"

"There is so much to do and so much responsibility and I will not let you slide by doing nothing!"

He stood up and I stoop up as well, then I realized how much he had grown over the summer. "I know it is an honor! I know how much I did not deserve this! I know it should have been Remus or Snape in front of me to get Head Boy. Hell I was just as dumbstruck as you are! They were the ones who were always studying and always making the grades, while I goofed off with Sirius and won Quidditch game after game for Gryffindor. So if you really think I am going to mess this up, go complain to Dumbledore because otherwise you are stuck with me!"

"What do you expect me to think?! You really think that I think you are just going to be good out of no where and quit causing havoc with your friends?!"

"I thought Remus was your friend as well?" He yelled at me.

"He is!" I yelled back, "You know what I do not have the time for _you_!" I grabbed my book and stormed off to my room.

***

The next day in Herbology, the first class of the day, I was seated with Alice. Amelia was still laughing across the room and she was partnered with Remus.

"So how was last night?" Alice asked.

"Promise not to tell Amelia next class?"

Alice smiled at me, "I am suppose to fill her in but I can forget and blame it on my blonde hair."

"Good," I smiled back at her. "Oh Merlin it was horrible."

"Was he blowing stuff up?"

I frowned at her, why would be blowing stuff up? "No, I think I hurt his feelings."

"So," she shrugged her shoulders. "You hurt James Potter's feelings every time he asks you out and you say no. How many times has that been now?"

"Nine hundred eighty-three."

"Oh Merlin," she giggled. "That was a rhetorical question, but oh my you have actually kept track?"

"He came in and asked if I was studying already. I told him yes and unlike him I take being Head Girl serious."

"Uh oh."

"What?" I asked.

"Well," Alice bit her lip. "You know that our families are close friends and I know that both of James's parents were Head Boy and Girl in their time…"

"So?"

"His father died over the summer vacation…"

"What?!" I yelled.

It was enough to startle the teacher, "That is enough Miss Evans and Miss McKinney."

I frowned, now I would have to wait to find out more. How strange that both James Potter and I had both lost our fathers over summer vacation.

***

At lunch I passed James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter to sit with Alice and Amelia. As I passed by them James still looked upset about our argument, not that it really meant anything to me at that time. What made me upset that day was that Alice had decided to eat lunch with her boyfriend of a year now, Frank Longbottom, at the Ravenclaw table. So I was stuck with Amelia and her twenty questions.

"So?" She asked me.

"So what?" I asked as I acted as if I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Come on Lily!" She groaned, "I know Alice played stupid because you asked her to."

"I am afraid I have no idea what you are talking about, you know Alice does have her blonde moments."

"Lily," she whined.

"Fine," I snapped. "No laughing at me our I will hex you into next month."

"Okay," she agreed looking like an eager child awaiting its much anticipated candy.

"Everything was fine until he showed up in the common room."

"Of course," she laughed at me.

"I thought I told you not to laugh at me?" I glared at her.

"I wasn't laughing at you, but with you."

"I'm not laughing," I pointed out.

"Mark my words, one day you will marry that boy."

"Ek," I gagged. "You do realize you sound more and more like Black everyday."

"You know I am telling the truth," she said in a sing song voice.

I rolled my eyes, "Not likely. Anyways, I was reading my potions book…"

"Always studying."

I kept on as if she had not interrupted me, "He asked if I was studying already and I told him that unlike he, I do take being Head Girl an honor…"

"Oh Lily, you didn't!"

"Yes I did."

"You shouldn't have! His dad was Head Boy at his time here at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, Alice told me that…" I shrugged my shoulders.

"No," Amelia shook her head. "You don't understand, you don't know the Potters. James's father was an Auror, one of the best, his dream was for James to be Head Boy like he had been. Now with all the goofing off that he does up here with Black no one ever thought that he would get Head Boy. James being Head Boy had been his father's dying wish and then a month later James got the letter."

"Oh Merlin," I sighed. "I have to apologize."

"Whoa, wait…you are actually going to apologize to James Potter?!"

"Amelia I have to! I had no idea, I feel awful!"

"Well of course you had no idea and I know that James knows that too."

***

In my third class of the day, Potions, I was partnered up with Remus Lupin. I had seen Severus eyeball me and want me to be his partner as most of our class had dropped Potions this year unless they really wanted to take the class or they needed it to go on with their careers once they left Hogwarts. I still refused to speak to him, of course I missed him. Severus had been my rock for so many years but he had betrayed my trust and he still hung out with those horrible friends of his that I knew were all Death Eaters. As long as he kept up with that crowd, we could not be friends. He knew all of this, I had stated this to him over a year and a half ago.

"Are you alright Miss Evans?" Professor Slughorn asked me as he was making his rounds through the classroom.

"Yes," I smiled at him. "I promise I am fine, just daydreaming."

He nodded and went on to the other students. "I was just about to ask you the same," Remus spoke to me.

"Sorry, I am just kind of out there…"

"What is on your mind?"

"I am assuming Potter told you about our argument last night in the common room."

Remus nodded, "Yes he did."

"You think I am an awful person."

"Of course you aren't," he smiled at me. "You have been such a wonderful friend to me and kept my secret a secret."

"That has nothing to do with what we are talking about here."

"I realize that," he nodded as he added ingredients into the potion. "You had no idea about Harry's wishes, how could you?"

"I still should apologize."

"Yes you should. James knows you did not know about Harry but it still hurts that he lost his father just recently and you know that as well. How proud would Paul be?"

I smiled as I thought about how my dad would have probably jumped up and down when he found out I had made Head Girl, "Ecstatic."

"Exactly."

***

I had taken my time at dinner that night, just trying to think of a way to apologize without sounding like a sap. I truly did feel horrible about our argument the night before, if I had only known.

'_You have never given him the time of day to know you_.' I heard inside my head but I ignored it.

"You alright Lily?" Sirius asked as he came to sit by me, when I looked up I noticed I was one of the last people still in the Great Hall.

"Yeah," I shook my head to get myself out of the daze I was in. "Where did Alice and Frank go?"

He gave me a sad kind of smile, "They left ages ago. They told you they were leaving and you never responded back."

"So you came to check on me?"

"I am a little worried about you."

I laughed at this, "Why in Merlin's name would you be worried about me? We have never been friends…"

"That is only because you never gave any of us the time of day except for Remus."

"Ouch."

"Truth hurts."

"Obviously," I laughed and I could tell he was surprised to hear me laugh. "I know what I said to James was wrong and now that I know the story I feel horrible."

"If you had not heard about Harry though you would have never been sorry. You really do not know him Lily. Yeah James has a good time, we pull a few tricks here and there…"

"Just here and there?"

"Okay," he laughed a bark like laugh. "A lot…well it won't be so much this year…."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Isn't it obvious? We will all be busy with N.E.W.T.s and James is going to be so busy with Head Boy duties and Remus doing the Prefect thing. I am left with Peter and to tell you the truth he is not so good with the tricks and treats."

"So is this your way to tell me to go apologize to Potter?"

"No," his answer surprised me. "Do not tell him you are sorry because you feel bad about his dad and you know that Harry wanted James to be Head Boy. Only tell him you are sorry if you really are. I know back in the day all we were was tricks and treats but all of us have grown up. You could really give him a chance, James is not as bad as you put him out there to be."


	3. Apologies

Chapter 3 - Apologies

Sirius left on that note and then I really was the last person in the Great Hall. I never thought Sirius was the insightful type; then again like he had said I had never given Sirius, James, nor Peter the time to get to really know them. I had a pretty good excuse for it though. About a month after starting our first year James had asked me to be his girlfriend in front of basically the entire school, the bashful little girl I had been then had turned him down. I had always knew that Severus had a crush on me but when James asked me to be his girlfriend Severus did the unthinkable.

"_No she does not want to date you __Potter," Severus spat. "Lily is __**my **__girlfriend."_

"_I am not!" I yelled at him looking at him like he was crazy, "I am not dating you."_

"_Then you are free to date me?" James asked with excitement._

_Severus threw the jelly leg curse at James._

"_You wait!" James yelled and threw the boogey curse on him._

"_Stop it!" I yelled._

"_What is it to you?" James asked, "You don't like him anyways. Long greasy hair and that horrible nose; why do you even give him the time of day Evans?"_

_All the kids around us started laughing at him and Severus turn bright red and ran away._

"_Sev wait up!" I yelled running after him._

"_Sev!" James laughed, "She even has a pet name for him! Snivellus and Lily sitting in a tree…."_

I shook myself, how could I forget that memory. The fact of the matter was that I had thought James was cute all those years ago, and that I had wanted to be his girlfriend. In face I had been honored that he asked. The only thing was at that point in time Severus was my best friend and I knew how much he liked me. If James would have just been mature and walked off I would have found him later and told him that I would have loved to be his girlfriend. He humiliated Severus and me, and for that I loathed James Potter all those years.

I finally got up and headed to the common room I shared with James Potter. As I walked into the portrait hole I almost ran face first into the one and only James Potter.

"Whoa, watch it!" James said as he fell backwards so that he would not fall on top of me.

"Sorry," I said lending my hand out to help him up. He looked at me surprised but took my hand. "Where were you off to, Quidditch practice?"

"Not this late, I was actually going to check on you."

"Me?"

"Yeah I was worried…" He looked down I could have sworn I saw his cheeks tint a pink shade.

"Oh, well thanks." I smiled at him and when he looked up to see I was not mad about him worrying about me and that I was smiling, well he smiled back. "I was okay, just daydreaming in the Great Hall."

"Yeah you looked as if something was on your mind at dinner."

"I need to talk to you."

James gestured towards the couches away from the portrait hole and I followed him. I sat down on the couch I had been upon last night and he sat beside me. "I need to apologize for last night."

"Oh."

"I had no idea…"

"No idea to what?" James asked confused.

"About your father's dying wish."

"Wait," James looked at me for a moment with disbelief in his eyes. "Are you only apologizing to me because my dad is dead?"

"Well, no but…"

"No thanks Lily," he said getting up. "I do not need your pity," and he left me stunned as he went up to his room for the night.

"So," came Sirius behind me in a sing song voice. I was about to walk into Defense Against the Dark Arts but I turned around to see the known ladies man.

"So what?"

"What has your knickers in a bunch?"

"Your buddy."

"My what?" He laughed, "Oh James."

"Yeah him."

"What now? I swear you two will be married one day."

"Not likely, anyways I tried to apologize last night…"

"And?"

"He told me that he did not need my pity."

Sirius growled almost dog like, "What the hell is wrong with him? You are actually being nice to him…"

"What do you mean actually being nice to him?"

"Come off it Lily," he laughed. "You never give James the time of day. I mean I know back in the day I know we were annoying."

"Were?"

"Have I annoyed you the last two days?"

He had a point, "No but I have not been around you much."

"Okay point taken," he nodded. "Other then the two of you bickering has James been annoying?"

Now that he mentioned it James was being everything but annoying.

"So let me get this straight," he went on. "You admitted to him that you apologized because of his dad dying?"

"Not exactly…"

"He figured it out then…"

"I sure did," a voice came from behind the both of us. "Thanks for talking about me behind my back though and by the way bell is about to ring." He walked into the class room and I turned to see Sirius with his mouth hanging wide open.

"What?" I asked.

"You really pissed him the hell off," he said shaking his head and walked into the classroom with me on his feet right as the bell rang.

"What the hell did you do?!" Amelia hissed at me at lunch.

"I have never seen that look on his face," Alice commented.

"He figured out that I apologized after I found out about his dad."

"Moron," Amelia snorted.

"Oh Lily," Alice sighed.

"Then he overheard Sirius and I talking about it."

"You are smart," Amelia said sarcastically.

"You know what Amelia are getting on my nerves, piss off." I grabbed my books and stormed out of the great hall.

I was doing my Charms homework when he walked into the common room, he sat in the couch across from me but did not say a word to me as he was working on something. We went on like this for about a good two hours when I finally got sick of it and decided to break the silence.

"What is your problem?"

"Not now Lily," he said not looking up from what he was doing.

I walked toward him and ripped it out of his hand and threw it to the floor, "I want to talk now."

He stood up and was a good seven inches taller then me, "What makes you think you have the right to make me talk to you? What makes you think that you can be a total bitch to me twenty four seven but I am suppose to do whatever you want me to at the drop of a dime?!"

"Excuse me?! What the hell did you just call me?!" I said as I felt my face turning as red as my hair.

"I do not have the time for you petty games," he said picking up whatever he had been doing off the floor and handing it to me. "Now leave me the hell alone." For the second time in two nights he stormed out on me.

I looked down and read what he gave me,

_Lily,_

_Look, I have no idea what is going on. I am sorry that you hate that I am Head Boy and that now for the rest of term we will have to share living quarters and work closely together. I know how much you hate me and I have accepted that, but we are just going to have to suck it up and do it for the sake of our graduating class. Next time you want to know what is going on in my head ask me, don't go talk to Sirius._

_James_

Wow, he really knew how to make me feel like a total and complete bitch. I threw the paper down on the floor for the second time that night and stormed up stairs towards his bedroom. I went for the door handle and of course it was locked. I took my wand out of my pocket and raised it to the door knob and said, "Alahomora!" I heard the lock click and from the other side of the door there was, "What the hell?"

I threw the door open and got as much in his face as I could at my height, "How dare you!"

"What now?!" He yelled back.

"If you have something to say, you need to man up and say it to my face!"

"Fine, I **was **trying to be nice."

"Yeah that is likely."

"You are a hotheaded, now-it-all!"

"Oh yeah," I yelled at him. "You are an insufferable, male chauvinist pig!"

"How would you know, you have never given me the time of day?!"

"How could I, when you change girlfriends as often as I change socks!"

"Wait," James face and attitude changed. "You would have actually given me a chance?"

My face fell and my eyes bugged out, "I never said that!"

He stepped closer to me, "You didn't have to it was implied."

I went to storm off but he grabbed my wrist and twirled me back around towards him. He turned me so fast that I fell into his chest and when I looked up his face was inches away from mine. We both looked at one another for a moment too long and I pulled back and then stomped on his foot.

"See a male chauvinist pig! You think every woman on God's green earth pines for you!"

He did not say anything, James Potter just stared at me in awe. I ran out of the room and threw myself on my bed after slamming the door. I expected him to come in after me, but he never did.

"Has things gotten any better?" Alice asked me about a week later.

"Yeah," I smiled. "I just ignore him like I did before he became Head Boy."

"Lily," Alice sighed. "That is not going to solve anything, how are the two of you suppose to get anything done?"

"Like what?" Amelia asked, we were at dinner.

"They have to plan when we go on Hogsmeade trips, decorations for Halloween, Christmas, Seventh Year ball, and end of term feast."

"Hogsmeade trips?!" Amelia smiled looking at me, she loved getting away from school and going into the little town of Hogsmeade.

"Yes," I nodded as I ate some lasagna.

"You better get over this not talking to James Potter thing and plan woman!"

"So you would put my happiness over a Hogsmeade trip?" I asked Amelia knowing the answer before I even finished the question.

"Hell yes!"

I felt someone tap me on the back and by the look on Alice's face I had an idea who it was.

"Yes?" I asked without turning around.

"We need to talk," he stated.

"Talk then."

"Alone."

I turned around to glare at him, "I have had enough alone time with you to last a lifetime."

"Lily I am serious…"

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans?" It was Professor McGonagall.

"Yes?" I asked thrilled to have my attention taken away from James.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with the both of you in his office, Miss Evans I think he is in the mood for Lemon Drops."

"Lemon what?" James asked totally clueless.

I looked up to indeed see that our Headmaster was not at the teacher's table anymore. "He wants to see us now?"

"Yes, the sooner the better."

I nodded and got up to leave, I then turned around to see that James had not moved at all. "Are you coming?"

James nodded and followed me, "What does the Headmaster want?"

"That is the password to his office, it is always some kind of treat."

"How do you know that?"

"From being a Prefect the last two years."

"Thank you for meeting with me in such short notice," Professor Dumbledore grinned as I walked in two steps ahead of James.

"No problem," I smiled as I took a seat across from his desk.

"None at all," James said as he took the seat next to mine.

"I have had some teachers asking when the first trip to Hogsmeade will be, it is about time to put bulletins up in the common rooms so that the third year and older students can start to get ready for the trip."

"Oh," I dropped my eyes to the floor.

"We have not exactly sat down and planned that out yet," James spoke before I could muster anything out of my mouth.

"Oh, I see." Dumbledore the put his hands together, "Maybe I made a mistake."

"Mistake?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "I knew that you and Mr. Potter had some differences but I never thought that the two of you would put your differences ahead of your Head Boy and Girl duties."

"Professor," I tried.

"No," he shook his head. "I need the two of you to be able to work together or for the first time ever in Hogwarts history I will have to replace the Head Boy and Girl."

"We will work this out," James spoke again before I could muster anything out of my mouth.

"Good," he nodded. "I except an answer from the two of you within three days. Same place and time."

He then turned his chair towards the wall of portraits of previous Headmasters and we both knew it was time to leave.

I was in my room on my bed, crying my eyes out. James and I had walked back to the common room in silence and I went up to my bedroom without saying a word to him.

There was a knock at the door, I knew exactly who it was but I was really not in the mood for him right now.

"Come in," I barely spoke.

I had my back turned to the door and I was under the covers curled up to one of my pillows.

James sat down beside me on the side where my face was turned, "Please look at me."

I sat up and looked straight into the hazel eyes that would soon melt my heart, "What?"

"You have been crying?" He asked me, "But why?"

"Why? Are you really asking me that question," I could feel that my face was all blotchy but at that moment I could really care less. "I have never wanted anything more in my life then being Head Girl and now I am going to lose it."

"Why do you say that?"

"I can not work with you, we argue to much."

"Lily, I am going to resign."

"What?! What about your father's wish?"

"Well he got his wish, I was Head Boy."

"For a little over a week?"

He shrugged, "You win some and you lose some."

"I can not let you resign," I shook my head. "You realize how horrible I would feel that you gave up being Head Boy because all we do is bicker?"

"Then we need to come to an agreement."

"Like?"

"I know you hate me…"

"I don't…"

"Don't lie Lily. We will have to just get along enough to do our Head Boy and Girl duties."

"Okay," I nodded. "So let's start."

He shook his head, "Not tonight. I am tired and I have to hold Quidditch tryouts bright and early tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes," he nodded at me. "You know Saturday."

"Oh okay."

"Tomorrow after tryouts?"

"Sure," I nodded and he left my room without another word while closing my bedroom door behind him.

"So what did Dumbledore want last night?" Amelia asked butting in as usual.

"Want to know if we had planned the Hogsmeade trips and all that."

"And?"

"We told him no."

"Oh," Alice said feeling the worst coming. "What did he say?"

"That if we did not put our bickering aside for our responsibilities that he would have to replace us."

"Oh wow," Amelia bit her lip. "So what are you going to do?"

"What I have to, be civil with James Potter."

"Is that even possible?" Alice asked, "I mean you have never had any patience for him."

"I will have to make room for it or else I have to resign Head Girl."

_Mum,_

_Sorry its been over a week since I have written home, school has been so crazy busy. I knew being a Prefect was a lot of work but it was nothing compared to be Head Girl. I miss you so much, I hate being so far away. Yes, I am still planning on coming home during Christmas break. No I haven't forgotten about Christmas and of course Petunia's wedding. Hope you are well._

_Love you,_

_Lily_

I reread the letter before I attached it to Bella's leg, "Bring it straight to Mum and don't let Petunia intercept it."

Bella hooted and in a way I knew that she knew what I was telling her.

It was Saturday and I knew James would be at Quidditch tryouts, I did not want to see him anyways.

"Lily?" I turned around to see Barty Crouch Jr.

"Oh hey Barty."

"So congrats on getting Head Girl."

"Thank you," I blushed.

"Any idea when the first Hogsmeade trip will be."

To my great disgust the idea of working with James later on today hit me, "We will be discussing that today and telling Professor Dumbledore in the next few days. Then he will tell the teachers and everyone should know."

"Awesome," he smiled at me. "Well whenever the Hogsmeade trip is, you will have to meet me at the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer on me."

"Sure." I nodded and I headed towards the grounds to see Amelia, Alice, and Frank.

"What took you so long?" Amelia groaned, "I have had to sit here with these two while they snog _all_ day!"

"You just got here," Alice pointed out.

"Lily!" I turned around to see Remus.

"Hey, you want to join us?" I asked him.

"What are you all doing?" He asked as we were all laying around the lake.

"A whole lot of nothing," Amelia sighed as she was about to take a nap.

"Sounds great," he said laying between Amelia and me.

"So where is the rest of the pack?" Alice asked.

"Oh," Remus nodded as he sat up to look at Alice and Frank. "Sirius and James are at Quidditch tryouts and Peter is watching in the stands. I got bored so I thought I would come hang out with Lily."

For most of the day the five of us hung out, laughing, talking, and just having a good time.


	4. Memories

Chapter 4 - Memories

"Lily?" The sound of my name awoke me to see the one and only James Potter above me.

"What is it?" I asked as I closed my eyes again, the warm sun on my skin felt so good.

"It is nearly five."

I opened my eyes again, "In the evening?"

He chuckled at me, "Yeah."

I sat up to see only Amelia was left and she was still napping as well, "Where did everyone go?"

"Everyone?"

"Yeah," I said as I stood up. "Alice, Frank, and Remus."

"Oh I do not know, I just got here. I have been looking all over for you and Barty Crouch said you might be down here."

"Oh yeah," I smiled. "I ran into him earlier today."

"You need to stay away from him," James warned.

"Just because you have a crush on me does not mean that he likes me too," I turned around and shook Amelia.

"Just five more minutes," she groaned.

"Amelia it is five, dinner will be in an hour."

"Oh crap!" She jumped up and looked around to see James and me. She got a big grin on her face once she saw the two of us, "What have the two of you been up to?"

"I just woke up two seconds before you did."

"I was looking all over for Lily."

"Really?" Her grin kept getting bigger and bigger.

"Shut up Amelia," I said walking off and I could hear James walking behind me.

"Did you have a good day?" James asked as we walked back to the living quarters we shared.

"You do not have to act nice," I yawned.

"I am not acting," James said and I could tell I had hurt his feelings. "I was genuinely asking."

I looked at him and sighed, "Yes today was fine. I did a whole lot of nothing."

"That sounds awesome."

We were back in the common room now, "Are you being sarcastic?"

"No," he said sitting down beside me on my couch. "I mean I had to do a whole of Quidditch today."

I laughed at the way he phrased that and I got a smile out of him, but this smile did not anger me. This was not the usual arrogant smile he gave me, this one was nice and genuine. "You have a nice smile."

"Thank you," he kept smiling.

My eyes bugged out and then I cracked up laughing.

"Something the matter?" He asked as his smile faded.

"No," I was still laughing. "I just did not realize that I had said that out loud."

"Oh," he chuckled. "I do that all the time."

"Tomorrow you can do a whole lot of nothing, it is Sunday."

"Wrong," he sighed. "I have homework to do that I did not do today because of Quidditch."

"Oh crap, you had to mention homework?"

"You did not do yours either?"

"Yeah I know," I laughed. "I have no idea what has gotten in to me."

"Hang on," James got up from the couch and ran up to his room to leave me alone in the common room for a few seconds before he was back down stairs with me.

"What is that?" I asked looking at a rough looking notebook.

"Oh," he laughed again. "My Quidditch playbook."

"Um," I bit my lip. "I really do not think this is the time to go over Quidditch plays, especially with me."

"No," he laughed again. "I always have this thing with me and last night after I left your room," he blushed. "I started writing down ideas."

"Oh that's wonderful," I said leaning over to him to look at his ideas.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," I said looking up at him. "I have not done a single thing, again I have no idea what has gotten into me."

"You have been hanging out with Sirius too much," he joked and to his surprise I did laugh at this.

"He keeps popping up giving me advice about you."

"About me?"

"Yeah," I laughed again. "He told me to quit being such an ass."

James face went all-serious, "No he did not."

"No not in those words but he is right."

"What?"

"I just snap at you for no reason and then later on I always feel horrible about it."

"Well I use to be such an ass to you as well, always bugging you to be my girlfriend."

"Yes," I laughed as I had just recalled one of those memories a few days before. "How Severus use to always get so mad at you for asking me."

"The two of you use to be the best of friends, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed and thought about the times I use to have with Severus. "That seems like a lifetime ago. He lives a few neighborhoods from my house and the summer before first year, he saw me performing magic. Of course at that time I had no idea what was going on."

"So he explained to you that you were a witch?"

"Yes." I nodded, "He was my first friend at Hogwarts."

"So what happen?"

I knew James and I were getting off on the right foot but I really did not want to talk about this personal memory with him.

"So what were your ideas?"

"Oh yeah!" He opened the book and I did not think that he even knew I was trying to avoid the subject. "Well I thought that we should have the first Hogsmeade trip the weekend of Halloween. What do you think?"

"That sounds great," I said not fully there with him.

"For Halloween we should have a lot of huge pumpkins from Hagrid's garden."

"He would love that."

"Yeah I figured he would. What do you think about Christmas?"

"A winter wonderland?"

"That sounds really good Lily and we should have another Hogsmeade trip the weekend before Christmas."

"Yeah. Then have the Seventh Year dance in conjunction to the last Hogsmeade trip in the spring?"

"Great," James nodded. "That did not take long at all, did it?"

"No."

"Are you alright Lily?"

"I am just tired," I lied. "I think I will go take a bath," I got up and left the room. If James said anything else to me, I do not remember.

"_Lily, don't do it!" Shrieked Petunia._

_I had the swing at the very height of its arc and let go, then I flew into the air, quite literally flown, launched myself skyward with a great should of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, I soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly._

"_Mummy told you not to!"_

_Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground; making a crunching, grinding sound, and then leapt up, hand on hips._

"_Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"_

"_But I'm fine," I said, still giggling. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."_

_Petunia glance around. The playground was deserted apart from us and though we did not know it at the time, Severus. I had picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Severus lurked. Petunia advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. I waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, and then held my palm out. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster._

"_Stop it!" shrieked Petunia._

"_It's not hurting you," I said, but I closed my hand on the blossom and threw it back to the ground._

"_It's not right," said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower's flight to the ground and lingered upon it. "How do you do it?" she added, and there was definite longing in her voice._

"_It's obvious, isn't it?" Severus could no longer contain himself, but had jumped out from behind the bushes. Petunia shrieked and ran backward towards the swings, but I, though clearly startled, remained where I was. Severus seemed to regret his appearance. A dull flush of color mounted his cheeks as he looked at me._

"_What's obvious?" I asked._

_Severus had an air of nervous excitement. With a glance at the distant Petunia, now hovering beside the swings, he lowered his voice and said, "I know what you are."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You're…you're a witch," whispered Severus._

_I was affronted._

"That's_ not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"_

_I turned, nose in the air, and marched off toward my sister._

"_No!" said Severus. He was highly colored now._

_Petunia and I looked at him, united in disapproval, we were both holding on to one of the swing pole as thought it was the safe place in tag._

"_You _are_," said Severus to me. "You _are_ a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."_

_Petunia's laugh was like cold water._

"_Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returned now that she had recovered from the shock of his unexpected appearance. "_I_ know who _you_ are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told me. "Why have you been spying on us?"_

"_Haven't been spying," said Severus, hot and uncomfortable and his dirty-haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on _you_, anyway," he added spitefully, _you're_ a Muggle."_

_Though Petunia did not understand the word, she could not mistake the tone._

"_Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly. I obeyed my sister at once, glaring at Snape as we left._

_Still a sunny day under the trees by a river, Severus and I were facing one another. There was a noise and then we spotted Petunia, hiding behind a tree._

"_Tuney!" I said in surprise and welcome, but Severus had jumped to his feet._

"_Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?"_

_Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught._

"_What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she said, pointing at Severus's chest. "Your mum's blouse?"_

_There was a _crack_: A branch over Petunia's head had fallen. I screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears._

"_Tuney!"_

_But Petunia was running away. I rounded on Severus._

"_Did you make that happen?"_

"_No." He looked both defiant and scared._

"_You did!" I was backing away from him. "You _did_! You hurt her!"_

"_No - no I didn't!"_

_The lie did not convince me: after one last burning look, I ran from the little thicket, off after my sister._

_We were on platform nine and three-quarters and Petunia and I were a distance from Mom and Dad. I was pleading with my sister, "…I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen -" I caught Petunia's hand and held on tight to it, even thought she tried to pull it away. "Maybe once I'm there - no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there, I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!"_

"_I don't - want -to -go!" said Petunia, and she dragged her hand back out of my grasp. "You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a - a -"_

_Her eyes rolled over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners' arms, over the owls fluttering and hooting at each other in cages, over the students, some already in their long black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart._

" _- you think I want to be a - a freak?"_

_My eyes filled with tears as Petunia succeeded in tugging her hand away._

"_I'm not a freak," I said. "That's a horrible thing to say."_

"_That's where you're going," said Petunia with relish. "A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy … weirdos, that's what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. It's for our safety."_

_I glance towards my parents, who were looking around the platform. Then looked back at Petunia, and my voice was low and fierce._

"_You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to him to take you."_

_Petunia turned scarlet._

"_Beg? I didn't beg!"_

"_I saw his reply. It was very kind."_

"_You shouldn't have read -" whispered Petunia, "that was my private - how could you - ?"_

_I looked toward Severus and Petunia gasped, "That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!"_

"_No - not sneaking -" Now I was on the defensive. "Severus saw the envelope and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of -"_

"_Apparently wizards poke their noses everywhere!" said Petunia, now as pale as she had been flushed. "_Freak_!" She went back to my parents to leave me heartbroken._

"Lily," I awoke to someone calling my name and beating on the bathroom door. "Lily, Lily please answer me or I will blow this door down!"

"What?!"

"Oh Merlin, good."

I hopped out of the garden tub that I had fallen asleep in and wrapped a towel around me, I opened the door and looked at James oddly.

"What's the matter?"

"You were screaming, are you okay?"

"I was?"

"Yes, screaming and crying."

"What?!"

"You kept crying out for Petunia, who's that?"

My mouth dropped and I kept walking and closed my bedroom door behind me.

The next day, I was in Muggle Studies when Sirius sat down beside me, "What are you doing sitting all the way back here? You are usually all the way in the front."

"I don't feel good and I feel like going to sleep."

"Ah," he laughed. "So you came to the back to sit next to me?"

"Yes and I am sure every girl in the class is hexing me under their breath."

"Correct."

I looked up and every girl in the glass could have been throwing daggers from their eyes at me, I started laughing and they all turned around to pay attention to the teacher as she walked in.

"You might want to quit laughing, you will draw attention to us."

I sat up and looked at his handsome face, the face that ninety-nine percent of our school was in love with, but to me he was just a big clown. "You realize everyone is going to think we are an item."

"Then James will kill me," he barked.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Why would he kill you if you and I dated? He has every girl mesmerized by him."

"Except for you of course, oh queen of steel."

I snorted at this.

"Really though, I do not know what you have on that boy but is his head over heels for you."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes.

"Give him a chance Lily."

"Why?"

"He is not the same childish bully he was when we were in our fifth year and it's not like Snape is going to get mad at you, the two of you have not hung out since that day. By the way Amelia told me what he called you and that was totally unforgivable."

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I'm not interested."_

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Save your breath."_

_I was wearing a dressing gown, and stood with my arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower._

"_I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."_

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -"_

"_Slipped out?" I had no pity for Severus Snape. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"_

_He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking._

"_I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."_

"_No - listen, I didn't mean -"_

" _- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

_He didn't say anything so I climbed back through the portrait hole._

"I know it was," I agreed with Sirius. "That is why we aren't friends anymore. His life choice is to be a Death Eater and work for You-Know-Who, and mine is to fight all of them."

"Good choice."

"I am assuming you are as well?"

"Damn straight."

"What about Regulus, Bellatrix, and Narcissa? They are all your family and they are all choosing You-Know-Who."

"Then we are also on opposite sides of the line," he looked at me oddly.

"What?"

"If I ask you something you have to promise not to get mad at James or me."

"I promise no such thing," I said turning my head back to the teacher.

"Fine," he sulked. I could tell he was dying to know, "Who the hell is Petunia?"

"What?" I asked totally lost, "Why?"

"No reason."

"My sister."

"Oh, the two of you do not get along?"

"As well as you and Regulus."

"Ouch, what happened?"

I sighed, from what I heard about his relationship with Regulus, it was just as bad as mine with Petunia. "I am like you."

"What?!"

"My sister is mad at because I am a witch and she is not, although she would never admit it to you."

"She is jealous?"

"That is what my mom says."

"Wow, I am sorry."

"So why would I be mad at Potter and you?"

"He said you were in the bathroom for a long time last night and he was going to check up on you and you were pleading and screaming for Petunia."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Before I got accepted to Hogwarts, we were best friends. I got accepted, she even wrote Dumbledore to beg for him to let her come and he said no."

"Wow."

"Yeah, ever since then I have been the _freak_."

"That is harsh."

"I am use to it."

"You shouldn't be."

"Oh well."

"One more question."

I looked up at the clock, "You have two minutes until the bell rings so be quick."

"Why are you sharing this information with me?"

"I honestly have no idea."


End file.
